yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
