I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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