there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
