I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
