I love black thongs
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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