I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
