He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize