What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Screwed.edu
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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