Your face is a jimmy john
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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