You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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