doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
