It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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