I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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