Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
