I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
