And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They have beer where we have blood.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize