I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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