Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
