Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
