Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just found a bag of teeth...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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