mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
