I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
