What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
