Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
sex in a hospital.. check
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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