there's paper in my vomit.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
