normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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