he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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