i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
