In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
