i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
