You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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