im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
