i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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