The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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