Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
