Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
