I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
