My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize