never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
