Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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