And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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