she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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