Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
