everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
