So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
