At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
