And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize