Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Houston, we have a blender
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They have beer where we have blood.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
