He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
