omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize