I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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