You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And then he peed in my hair
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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