OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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