Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
