I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
