Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
